Adding my experience to the conversation, as I would like to start landing airs with consistency, too...
At the time I was transitioning from skateboarding to surfing, I was starting to get over my fear of airs above the coping. A friend who has been doing airs on ramps for years said that you have to let go of the idea of "popping" the ollie at the coping - instead, you ride out of the ramp with a lot of speed, letting the back trucks clip the coping. I started putting this into practice, mostly to land frontside disasters, sometimes with an indy grab, but was having success, getting a few feet above the lip.
I've tried the same with surfing, but am just not in the water enough nor out long enough to find the ramps consistently. That said, I have landed a few, and the same theory applies - get lots of speed and don't concentrate on forcing the air, just ride the fins out and stay centered. One big mistake I make a lot is that same bad habit I had on the ramp, which is trying to pop the ollie below the lip, and on the water that just buries the tail. If anyone has ridden a jump ramp, the feeling is similar. We've all done flyaway kickouts, too. Same thing, just trying to concentrate on keeping the board underneath you.
Onefin... I find that airs to disaster on ramps are closest to airs on waves, and they take a lot less commitment then airing back into the transition. If you can fakie rock n' roll, you can come back in from an air to disaster on the coping.
