Brooklyn Ikea

[BlueBerry]

My mother use to tell me, "If you don't have anything nice to say, stay quiet." Good advice, I think, but it's rare that I take good advice. I'm a bad advise magnet for some reason and I should probably stay quiet more often but... It's just so hard to do.

I went to a semi-private opening of the new Brooklyn Ikea last weekend. 1st things 1st. I'm completely stoked out of my mind about those farking meatballs. I don't know what it is but those meatballs kill and the price point is incredible. I wonder if they take  loss on their food. I couldn't eat that food everyday but I wouldn't mind eating that food 2 to 3 times a year. It's like the gourmet version of my elementary school cafeteria with a very positive twist.

The views from the cafeteria are great. It's rare to be able to channel-in Old NY waterfront history. A hundred years ago this place must have been insane with with workers and cart traffic and thousands of boats, steamers and sail.  Today the continuation of that insanity begins again, hopefully a little more organize because of the good work of my spouse and her company's efforts to control the ebb and flow of cars, buses, trucks, bikes and pedestrians. A mile long waterfront walkway is open to the public. Some really skate-able options exist (get on it before it gets skate proofed). 

I would recommend getting a good parking spot and walking the water front first. Some Erie Basin air might do you good because as we all know, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."  The views of the Manhattan skyline are pretty cool if you are into that, I am! Oh and the French Chic in the Harbor is pretty awesome too, it feels like you can reach out and ask her what she thinks about Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast. I hope she is as embarrassed as I am. 

The store itself is nice (typical),  if you been to one you been to them all, The American Big Box Experience brought to you by Swedes, or is it Swiss or are they Norwegian, well anyway those really, really blond people north of regular Europe. We hit the infant section first. I totally recommend getting infant to kids things at Ikea. It's cheap, it won't last forever it's perfect for a growing child. Disposable hard goods for a consumerist society with an bottomless appetite for using cordless power drills when a screw driver will totally suffice.   

The adult stuff is nice too. I can totally see a YouTube version of "Pimp my Projects" using all Ikea furniture. Again, the price for basic interesting design stuff is really good. If you have a good eye and a sense of humor you could really bang out an interesting space that will work for you. If your getting older and have Yuppie ass dreams of Design Within Reach (but out of your actual reach) you might be able to make some but not all of Ikeas stuff fit into your life. I picked up a $199 kind of bookshelf thing I needed to divide a big space in my house. It works, it looks fine. It's not a MarkE special Hand Crafted Charm piece but who could afford one of those anyway? If you stick to a few things, mixed with some nice things the Ikea stuff can pass without a second glance from your furniture forward thinking homies.

I did say I went to a semi-private opening right? Because when I left the parking lot was 2/3 empty. In the words of our great leader and beloved friend Mr. T " I pity the fool" that thinks they are going to have the enjoyable experience I did. If you must go, you have to DP it or evening glass, it. I would rather surf ankle high wind chop on a boogie board then go to Ikea for the next 3 months. No make that 6.   

[seb70]

blue and yellow = sweden, although the founder does live in Switzerland. He's an intersting fellow:

IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad, ranked 4th richest man in the world, drives a 15-year-old car and always flies economy class, in part to inspire his 90,000 employees worldwide to see the virtue of frugality.

The billionaire Swede, who turns 80 on March 30, explained his legendary habits during a rare television interview in Switzerland, his adoptive home for nearly 30 years.

[Crackie Onassis]

Ikea napkins rule.

[Mims]

IKEA stuff can last if you put it together right. I have IKEA bookshelves in my home office that I got like...at least 10 years ago (fark I'm getting old). They've been moved 3 times and are still sturdy...although the second I hit "post" they're probably going to crash to the floor. My sister got a dresser there that she let our brother (who is pretty handy with tools) put together. It barely survived the assembly.
I like the Brooklyn Ikea cause it hopefully will clear up some of the congestion at the Long Island one I go to.

[jscottk]

Mark E gave me the best Ikea assembly advice.
If you know it is not going to be dis-assembled at any time..
Then GLUE IT as you assemble it and it will be sturdy as can be

[BlueBerry]

I heard but can not confirm that you can get even better use out of the stuff if you... when assembling use gorilla glue on everything, screws and all.

I can't confirm but its an interesting thought.

[BlueBerry]

Wow dude we were typing the same thing at the same time. I heard it from another source tho so maybe it is now conformable.

[HydroGlide]

An IKEA grows in Brooklyn.  Who knows, give it another decade or so and a better school system and NYC may eventually catch up to the suburbs?  The co. is definately an interesting story, I had to review their financials one year - but it was under strict confidentiallity - if I told you about it I'd have to kill ya (via burial in the kiddie area's virus-packed multi-colored plastic ball room).   

[Spindrift]

THe sunsets over at the red hook pier are among the best in the city. SPECTACULAR. I used to go there all the time.

BB, I bet you got drunk at that semi private opening.

[Joe Bama!]

I wish I could take your Moms advice BB, But I have a lil bit of good and bad to say about IKEA in Brooklyn,

Price point is great, Quality not so much.
What about the little furniture stores in Brooklyn,,,, who cares?
IKEA does create jobs for Red Hook, hopefully.
Red Hook sucks to work in, I worked at the Fairway in Red Hook for a little while, without a car your screwed!
Beautiful scenery!

IKEA is built on the grounds where America built its WarCrafts for WWII,,, who cares?
Respect for land, you gotta love America's style!

[Spindrift]

If you time your photo right you can get the sun setting directly behind the statua of liberty, with the staten island ferry crusing by at the same time. classic shot. go get it photogs!

[BlueBerry]

No drinks for me AJ, I'm just not into Finnish wine or whatever it was they had up there. 

I wish I could take my moms advice too but I don't.
I think the quality may be overrated in this economy. Why should I spend $1200 large on a baby crib that will only last me a year, 2 years tops, then it sits in the garage for x amount of years? I would rather spend $120 use it for a year then using the power of adapted reuse/magic turn it into a giant wooden flower for the wall.

I honestly and truly don't care about the small little furniture stores or their owners in Brooklyn. I'm surprised you even bring that up because many of those places are at the forefront of labor exploitation often taking advantage of their workers, many of which have no defense because they are often undocumented aka exploitable. Not to mention many of the clients that buy from them. Also in my case, the small little furniture guy you tacitly defend just happened to be a major arms dealer in my old hood. Knickerboxer and DeKalb. He use to sell to the I-Tie's that still had "Cafes" and the one "Social Club" on Hart St. He would also sell to other more organize groups in the middle east which I always found Ironic because it seemingly worked against his personal Zionist politics.   Anyway my heart doesn't bleed for those guys often crooks.

Oh I hope you meant those guys and not West Elm (crap but I do occasionally buy sale items from them) or Bo Concept because those place are kind of butt. Bo is over priced shitty Ikea wanna be caricature of Scandinavian design. A Pox on their house!

As for where Ikea sits, I would rather spend my money on cheap furniture then spend another Trillion dollars on a war machine bent on killing. A War machine that is often killing innocent people already farked by their farked up government. If swiss meatballs replace cannon balls, I'm fine with that.

[Top Three]

gorilla glue is no good...it ezpands and foams and ack... its a mess...  ur suposed to wet both sides of porus things like wood  or particle board... and how good is wet particle board... not very...   i would go and get some titebond wood glue...   its much better then elmers and cleans up just as easily...

[Crackie Onassis]

I'll take the sunset view from The Wharf, Gil Hodges or Marine Park Bridge over Red Hook any day of the week.

[BlueBerry]

When I say gorilla glue I mean that like Jello or band aid or q-tip. For all I care you could use boogies to glue ikea stuff, it doesn't really matter to me.

Sunsets at Gateway Marina... insane!